The Good News
Remember i dreamt of dragonflies? And that the dream dictionary says it means good news? Well, that good news just turned out to be true today! And i'm sure it's not because of dragonflies ... but because God is a good God and He fulfills His promises.
"Ask, and it will be given you;
seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you.
For every one who asks receives,
and he who seeks finds,
and to him who knocks it will be opened.
Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! " - Matthew 7:7-11
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " - Matthew 6:25-34
I praise and thank the Lord Almighty for all His blessings, His goodness, His kindness and His mercy!!!
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A Ghost Story (?)
The other day (Thursday), when Bong left for work, I was worried for him because he was under some kind of "trial" at the office. Actually I worry for him everyday because of the kind of job that he has. He drives an armored vehicle - the one that banks use to transport money and is usually the target of bank robbers. The only thing that gives me peace is by holding on to prayer and trusting God. He was requesting for a leave that Thursday (only for 1 day) just so that he could somehow rest his mind and body from the pressure he was experiencing. Unfortunately, his boss did not permit him and insisted that he comes, so he did.
I was trying to discern whether his trials were some signs that he should look for another job. Also, several nights before, Bong had nightmares about murders and chaos.
At around 2pm that Thursday, while Thiel and I were looking at some pictures on the computer (in the bedroom), I clearly heard the door open, and it did. I was sure someone turned the knob. I even talked to Thiel jokingly (as if he understands) and said, "Who's that? Mumu?" I was almost sure it was Bong who came home early. I thought maybe something went wrong at work and he just decided to resign right there and then.
I was waiting for him to show up. He usually plays practical jokes on me and Thiel, sometimes pretending he wasn't there yet while he watches our reactions. When it looks like it's been quite long and noone's showing up, I carried Thiel to look outside. I called Bong's name, thinking that maybe he just went to the C.R. first. But he really wasn't there. Nobody was home except for Thiel and me!!!
I checked the door if it was possible that it was only partly closed and the wind could have pushed it to open. And it wasn't! Besides, i really heard the knob clicked!
Ever since, I have always believed that I don't have a third eye, and that ghosts or spirits are not interested in me. I knew they just avoid or ignore me because in a gathering, even when everybody i'm with experiences feeling spirits around, i'd be the only one who doesn't. So blaming ghosts for an opening door was farthest from my mind.
However, Bong's nightmares and the signs I was trying to discern with regards to his work all came flashing in my mind. These were the ones that gave me the jitters. I became more worried for Bong and I prayed all the more. I tried calling their office and the lady there said he's on duty. So, I thought maybe he's alright. But then, I still heard my heartbeat drumming a-la-conga. So i called his office again, and this time it was a man's voice. I said i just wanted to be assured that he's ok. He said, since there wasn't any call from the radio, they assume that he is.
Just after a few minutes, our phone rang. It was Bong! What a relief! He said he was ok. And everything went fine at work. I praise and thank God Almighty! I told Bong about the "door" and why I was so worried. He said, maybe it was my Dad just visiting his grandson.
So, Thiel and I went thru the day like any ordinary day. I brought him to the fish store and he really had fun watching all the fishes there. He had a favorite. I don't know what kind of fish it was -- it looks like there were some chinese characters printed on its scales. He even wanted to kiss the fish, hehehe.
Then i decided to drop by irene's house. What a surprise coz another best friend was there - Christy! Wish i can write all about what happened there. But in case i can't, in summary, Thiel was the total entertainer and everyone was impressed! I also plan to write more about my friend, Christy in a separate post.
Thiel and I went home, both feeling tired and happy! In just a moment, Papa Bong was home and Mama felt so blessed with this small but happy family.
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His Trials
The following is a prayer written by Stormie Omartian in her book "The Power of a Praying Wife":
Lord, You alone know the depth of the burden my husband carries. I may uderstand the specifics, but You have measured the weight of it on his shoulders. I've not come to minimize what You are doing in his life, for I know You work great things in the midst of trials. Nor am I trying to protect him from what he must face. I only want to support him so that he will get through this battle as the winner.
God, You are our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). You have invited us to "come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). I come before Your throne and ask for grace for my husband. Strengthen his heart for this battle and give him patience to wait on You (Psalm 27:1-4). Build him up so that no matter what happens he will be able to stand strong through it. Help him to be always "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer" (Romans 12:12). Give him endurance to run the race and not give up, for You have said that "a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again" (Proverbs 24:16). Help him to remember that "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand" (Psalm 37:26,24).
I pray he will look to You to be his "refuge until these calamitites have passed by" (Psalm 54:1). May he learn to wait on You because "those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31). I pray that he will find his strength in You and as he cries out to You, You will hear him and save him out of all his troubles (Psalm 34:6).
I pray this prayer for my husband today, as he faces his trials at work.
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He's Growing Up
For two consecutive nights, my Thiel has slept straight thru the night! Last night should have been the third night, but he woke up at 2 am asking for milk. He just drank some, then went back to sleep, not needing "meme" from Mama. This is good progress. Congrats, son... and thanks for a good night's sleep! Love you!
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Dragonflies
Last night, I dreamt of dragonflies. The dream was so clear. I looked it up in the online dream dictionary, and it said it means good news. If it was otherwise, i wouldn't believe it. hehehe.
Labels: Dreams
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Happiness
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way." -- Unknown
I just wanna take note of that quotation. Lately, i've been feeling the blues, looking or expecting for something that doesn't seem to happen.
My son couldn't possibly have first cousins or aunts or uncles on my side since i dont have any brothers or sisters. I was sort of counting on my in-laws to shower him with love and attention just as Titos and Titas usually do. I thought they were very happy that he came to us at last. And that they were excited because he is the first "boy" born of a male sibling, hence the only one to carry their surname.
I don't like what i'm feeling and i'm doing my best to cast out negative thoughts. Maybe it would help to release it here. I just feel that they don't care at all. That my son doesn't exist in their world. So my heart bleeds for him.
I'm sure they have their reasons and i would just assume that they're justifiable.
There! It's out at last.
Now, i'm just gonna concentrate on taking care of and loving my son. If they ever remember him, i'll be very happy and thankful. If not, then i'd just say... life goes on... and there are more important things to think about. From now on i'll be making an extra effort not to get affected.
If it's a sin, God forgive me for ever feeling that way.
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How Important Is A Child's 1st Birthday?
As my countdown (right sidebar) says, it's 23 days before my son, Thiel's 1st birthday. What should we do? Are we gonna celebrate? Are we gonna invite friends? relatives? neighbors? Where? What food do we serve? How? How much? I've been wracking my brains deciding on how May 15 should practically be spent.
As you know, our son is a very precious child, having been born only 11 years after we were married. Everytime someone asks how old he is, and would learn that his 1st birthday is very near, i would almost always get the same comment: "i'm sure he's gonna have a grand celebration". And i'd tell myself, "i wish!". I couldn't blame them. They don't know our financial difficulties anyway.
Bong and I have been thinking that the 3 of us should just go to church, eat in Thiel's favorite fastfood, maybe go to baywalk and spend the whole day together. But then friends would say, "WHAT? No celebration? Com'on even just a simple menu will do, as long as there's cake and ice cream".
I dunno. Still can't decide. Even a simple menu would mean extra expenses, extra work (considering we have no helper, our daily routines alone are already very tiring), and other extras. A package party in a fastfood would have been more convenient, but per inquiry, it's gonna be pretty costly!
What i do know is i want my Thiel to be happy, without being too expensive. I just hope we do the right thing. What do you think?
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Multitasking
Wikipedia has 3 definitions for multitasking, two of which refer to computer multitasking. The third definition is as follows:
Derived from the first sense, multitasking is the colloquial term for a human being's simultaneous handling of multiple tasks.
When you’re in the corporate world, tasks could mean processing emails, sorting files, giving instructions to your staff, entertaining customer calls, etc.
If you’re gonna ask me, I’d say that term was coined or invented by a ‘mother’. I salute all mothers before me who had gone thru what I’m presently going thru and had passed with flying colors. I’m sure they have experienced doing the following all at the same time:
Taking care of the baby while …
Doing the laundry (using the washing machine)
Washing the feeding bottles
Baby wants your attention every now and then so you attend to him by either giving him a toy, singing to him, carrying him, telling him anything; He’d also make poo-poo so you wash him and change his diaper.
Taking a bath (because you’ll never know when you’ll get the chance)
Washing the dishes
Ironing clothes (if not washing them)
Preparing baby’s food, and your food
Doing your best to cook for the husband before he comes home (he needs good food because he's tired and hungry and he doesnt get to have a real nice meal at work)
Feeding the baby
Feeding yourself (you’re gonna need it badly because of the energy you’re exerting)
(Sigh) It seems I was doing all of these the whole time yesterday until today (I wasn’t able to finish the laundry). Washing machine’s still working while I’m doing this right now, since Thiel is sleeping and I need to stay more in the room with him (the washing machine is downstairs.) So I go down every now and then to check on it then go back up here to check on Thiel, and continue this post. Thiel’s 2nd, 3rd and now his 4th teeth are coming out all at the same time, so I guess that explains why his sleep pattern is changing, and thus unpredictable. He was even awake between 1:30am-4:30am this morning, and of course the mom has to be awake too.
Whew! I never thought being a mother would be so challenging and would need a lot of skills in terms of time management, organization and decision making. It also demands that the mother be physically fit and disciplined. There’s no room for tiredness or sleepiness. You just have to keep going on.
Come to think of it, other mothers may still have their own mothers around so they could sometimes use their help. Some may have sisters, brothers, nephews, nieces who could give a helping hand. Some may have a hired helper or a nanny. I’m on a solo flight. Mom’s already in heaven (God bless her soul), mom-in-law’s already there as well (God bless her soul too), I’m an only child, and we couldn’t afford to hire a helper. Oh well, I can’t be jealous. I’ve already gotten a lot of blessings! And God has been providing for the strength that I need.
The bottom line is, no matter how physically exhausting an independent mother’s tasks could be, the fulfillment that we get from all these is priceless. And we get to have several bonuses too: the baby’s sweet smile, his embrace, his kiss, the feeling of being depended upon, and a husband’s compliments.
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Post Holy Week
So ... what happened today? (sigh) It's back to the real world for the Rivases. Bong went back to work after a 3-day vacation (he only has 1 day-off every week, and that's on a Sunday). Thiel cried in protest when his Papa was saying ba-bye. He's been like this lately, that's why Bong sometimes prefers to leave for work while Thiel's still sleeping. But this little angel is usually up early.
Got a call today from a best friend (geng). Our conversation, generally was about her duty as music head (she took my place when i resigned, i feel sorry for her). Can't really discuss here her problem but i could say im just relieved im no longer there.
I was feeling signs of an impending cold (hopefully not a flu!) ... sore throat, muscle pains, tiredness. I must have gotten it from Thiel, who's now ok, Thank God. We saw the baby girl who's the 'suspect cold virus carrier'. She still has that runny nose. Poor little baby. She's also quite thin, compared with other babies her age. I cant help but think that it has something to do with the fact that she's only being taken cared of by a nanny. Both her mom and dad work the whole day. I know they're doing it for her sake but I still believe that the mother should at least wait till the kid's at least 3 or 4 yrs old before she goes back to work. I wanna discuss more about this (to work or not) in a separate post when i find enough time. Meantime, i need to rest. Nite!
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Viruses
My baby's got a cold! Good thing he doesn't have fever. I got 2 suspects from where he got it. One is from a 1-yr old baby girl who lives nearby. She's got a runny nose the other day. I tried my best not to get Thiel too close to her once i noticed she's got the cold but i'm not sure if her resident virus moved fast. The second suspect is our very hot, humid weather. Thank God, Thiel doesn't seem to be too bothered. He's still as active as ever. I pity him though at night when he's sleeping because he would wake up every now and then crying because of his stuffy nose. For this, I give him nasal drops, a warm embrace and a lullaby. He would then hug me back tightly, as if saying, "Mama, please help me." In a few minutes, he dozes off.
There's another virus that's giving me a big headache, and it's in my PC!!! I'm getting ad pop-ups every several minutes. I've dealt with this kind of virus before but back then, i had a lot of time on my hands. Anyways, i have no choice but to deal with it again soon! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
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Semana Santa (Holy Week)
This season used to be one of the yearly occasions i dreaded the most. Why? Because as the parish musical director, it's the busiest time of the year. Choir rehearsals, lenten presentations, all sorts of parish activities. I couldn't remember solemnity, repentance, meditation or the real reason behind the event. Church service just became so technical and exhausting.
I've stopped three years ago. Not that i didn't like to serve God anymore. Not at all. I just felt like it was no longer Him whom I was really serving. I guess I couldn't really explain it without sounding too profound. Nevertheless, it's now water under the bridge, and I can say that I've made the right decision, and it has God's blessings.
Now it's a totally different Holy Week for me, and I'm spending it with my family. We commemorate Christ's suffering and death, which saved us from our sins, and celebrate His resurrection which gave us New Hope and New Life. That is crystal clear to me now.
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Red-faced
Thank you to my Tito Nits and Tita Lina. And to my cousin Bev ... naughty girl! You should have seen my tomato-colored face when your Dad told me you've forwarded this blog to him. Anyways, thank God for relatives. God bless you always.
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Wake-up Call
Last Saturday, exactly a week ago today, Bong was having lunch at their office, when he choked on a very hot, newly cooked rice. He said he couldn't spit it out, so he just tried to swallow it. It was then, when probably, his air passage was blocked, then he collapsed. Fortunately, and with God's mercy, one of his co-workers applied CPR and was able to revive him.
Bong is such a loving husband, that he'd usually rather do things around the house even if he comes home tired from work, than to see me having a hard time. He'd even cook for me before he goes to work, because he knows how difficult it is for me to do it while taking care of our Thiel.
That incident at lunch was traumatic for me. That's also the reason why i wasn't able to write about it right away. For as long as I can remember, I've been praying to God that if He should call anyone of us home, I hope He calls me first. Now that Thiel is here, I've included in my prayer for God to allow both Bong and I to live longer. How I pray that He wouldn't take anyone of us at a time when Thiel couldn't still even remember our faces, our warm embrace, our kisses and how we love and take care of him. Oh Lord, please let us see him grow up, be a man, be wedded and have children.
I pray for Bong's safety many times everyday. When i wake up, while Thiel is sleeping after his morning bath, when Thiel wakes up, sometime in the afternoon and before Bong comes home. I believe the power of prayer also saved Bong's life.
I'm also doing my best to add some more load in my daily chores, so as to lessen Bong's burdens. I guess i'm so used to being Bong's baby, and also used to think that i'm the weaker one. Now i realize, i should consider that maybe, i just look frail, but God is giving me strength for the sake of this family. I used to be sickly, and it's really a wonder how i'm able to survive my daily struggles now and still maintain my good health. God is good, all the time!
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Father and Son
One of the things that make me so happy is seeing how Thiel welcomes his Papa when he comes home from work. I could clearly see in my son's eyes how ecstatic he is and how much he'd truly miss his papa all day. He would even scream sometimes, or giggle, just as a teenage girl would when he sees his crush. Papa Bong certainly reciprocates his son's very warm welcome and would immediately take him in his arms and give him hugs and kisses. This everyday scene makes me say, 'I love life!' Praise God for this family.
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Isaiah 49
“But the people of Jerusalem said, 'The Lord has abandoned us! He has forgotten us.' So the Lord answers. 'Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you. Jerusalem, I can never forget you! I have written your name on the palms of my hands.'" - Isaiah 49 (v.14-16)
I think it was in the early 80s when Basil Valdez popularized a song composed by Manoling Francisco entitled 'Hindi Kita Malilimutan'. This song was actually taken from that text in Isaiah 49. The lyrics of the song go like this:
Hindi kita malilimutan
Hindi kita pababayaan
Nakaukit magpakailanman
Sa 'king palad ang 'yong pangalan
Malilimutan ba ng ina
Ang anak n'yang tangan
Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan
Pa'no n'ya matatalikdan
Ngunit kahit na malimutan
Ng ina ang anak n'yang tangan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailan ma'y 'di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailan ma'y di pababayaan
For us Filipinos, the tagalog rendition of Isaiah 49 strikes to the very core of our hearts. I, personally, can feel and hear the Lord speaking thru this song.
This morning, I was praying with all sincerity to God to please provide for our needs. Though Bong already has a regular job, we still could not meet our very basic needs. Whenever we receive financial input, whether it's a salary, payment for previous loans, or gifts, we always prioritize on Baby Thiel's needs, like his milk, diapers and vitamins. Next would be for basic groceries like cooking oil, soap, toothpaste, etc. We make sure not to buy unnecessary items. We have not bought any new clothes since Baby Thiel was born. I have foregone trips to the derma and buying cosmetics or anything that would satisfy my vanity. We have indeed tighten our belts!
But still we couldn't come up with enough funds to meet all our expenses, like electricity, phone and water bills. We even had to say goodbye 3 months ago to Bong's aunt who's been helping us since I gave birth. We used to give her monthly allowance, but we politely told her we could no longer afford it.
So, it's again time to pay the bills. We have already received notices of disconnection from Meralco and Bayantel, which we're already getting used to for the past several months. By God's mercy and His mysterious ways, we were able to pay and we still get these basic services up to now.
Today, my heart skips a beat whenever there's a knock on the door, afraid that it would be the Meralco man advising me that they're gonna cut-off our electricity. Today's also the last day for us to pay the phone bill, which is my only communication with Bong when he's at work. I only got 1000 pesos in my wallet, and the next money we’re expecting to come in won't be until April 15.
After praying, when I was about to bathe Baby Thiel, there was that nerve-wrecking knock on our door. I had to pull him out of his bath tub and swaddle him with towel and bring him to the terrace where I tried to see who it was.
It was a brother-in-law, bringing in some gifts from a sister-in-law who just got back from abroad. There was also a 1000peso cash gift.
God of all graces, I knew You wouldn’t forget me. You have written my name on the palm of your hands. That 1000pesos isn’t enough to pay our Meralco bill. But I hear you clearly, Lord. You’re telling me that You’re just there. That I shouldn’t worry because you’re going to take care of us. That you’re listening to my every prayer.
In the afternoon, I brought Baby Thiel to the Bayantel office, to pay our phone bill. If not for God’s mysterious blessings, our phone should have been cut-off by now. Praise Him! Thank you, Lord.
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Bloxorz
In The Doghouse
Dino Run
Save The Kitten
Rockface Rescue
Onekey
